Iain Cameron's Diary
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2005-05-12 - 4:48 a.m.
I woke this morning - I was feeling odd - in fact I had an odd dream - thatís probably the reason..
But if I say I never dream and you ask why not - and I say that I never have an urge to tell these stories when I wake up - you might say that I have the dreams but I just donít remember them. And I might say no I donít have the dreams. There isnít much to chose between the positions without going to a lot of trouble.
If I wake up and I feel odd does this simply mean I have an urge to tell a particular sort of story about myself?
If I wake up and I feel odd - what does it mean to say that I have felt the same for two days running? Can I be sure that itís the same oddness each day? Does this depend on telling a consistent story?
And so we step to - I woke up yesterday and I felt odd so I started to write a song.. Then this morning I woke up and I felt odd again - so I started to develop the song I started yesterday.
If the song sounded odd would we be more inclined to think it was the same feeling?
Suppose I woke up each morning and I felt odd - but suppose I couldnít be sure whether the feeling each day was the same as the day before. I keep waking up and feeling odd. But I donít say - I woke up in the morning and I still felt odd - that sort of out-of-place feeling I had yesterday.
Day 1 I wake up feeling odd and start the song and I develop the song on day 2. On day 3 I feel uncertain about my feelings - I am getting fed up with this uncertainty - I donít seem to be able to tell my friends a story about my feelings that makes any sense. So I decide I am going to use the song as a general statement about this feeling out of place feeling that haunts me. There s no specific feeling - but a free floating general unease - its worse in the mornings.
I decide that I am going to get a record contract and try to get a LP released of my songs. I reason that in the music business in songs, you donít have to tell the whole story - you can tell half the story. If you tell the right half then the audience will tell the rest in their own way. In fact they might get a long way into my music that way and I could get a reputation as an original writer of songs...
Of course on that Tanworth tape we find some one talking to a bit of plastic about their feelings.