2002-06-07 - 11:04 p.m.
I have been wondering whether to write about boredom - about how pervasive it is. The reason why not is the sense that it is a personal failing or weakness - that one should be equipped to organise a suitable level of stimulation for oneself - as an indicator of maturity. But this can lead to a level of self-denial - a failure to accept the brute fact of one's own chronic boredom. .
There is some quite serious existential stuff in this area - about the authenticity of engagement in one's own projects - an idea which I think may be in Heidegger. This authentic engagement might just be a given - like grace. By the same token authentic engagement may never result from an intentional act - it may be the pre-condition for any intentional act. Engagement might just come and go like a mood - a colouration in the experience of being in the world. I am engaged therefore I am - I am disengaged then I am a slightly uncertain about whether I am really here or not. Maybe this is how Miles was after his retirement in the mid 1970s.
Some people think that this sentiment - questionable engagement goes along with certain kinds of travel and that would certainly be an excuse I could deploy. Maybe the role of some chemicals is to engender a prediposition to engage.
Inspiration brings with it not only some content but the motivation to develop the content and realise its possibilities. Otherwise its just a passing fancy.
There's a good quote from Wayne Shorter - he composes as if he were improvising and improvises as if he were composing. Then he refers to the manuscript eg of Beethoven's Fifth - its scratchings out and alterations.
Another thought comes to mind - the question of whether N Drake was really ill - or just afflicted by the condition of chronic disengagement - the always rather provocative Brian Wells thesis. We imagine Nick's inspirations provoked titanic Beethoveninian campaigns of engagement. That these works could hardly have sprung into the mind complete like some Dylan songs seem go have done.
The theologian Tom Wright asks himself what kind of knowledge Jesus had of his cosmic role during his incarnation. His conjecture is that it was like the knowledge has of the work when the composer performs it.Suppose love is a form of engagement with another person supported by a cognitive quirk whereby the lover places the best possible interpretation on the behaviour of the beloved. In these circumstances the command "to love" would make no sense at all - anymore than the command to produce a unified field theory would.
I picked up a book about the geology of Hampshire today - its almost unintelligible even though it is the official HMG volume on the subject. It does show (for example) how much more Upper Greensand there is at the western margin of the Weald as opposed to the North or South. The Southern leg of the upper River Wey must run through some of this geology. You might see Hampshire as a repeat of the Thames Valley facing south into the Solent as opposed to East into the Thames Estuary. In simple terms the newest strata are closest to the river in each case. In Hampshire's case the river is the Test.
Vita and Yvonne watched Monsoon Wedding on video. I started to wonder about doing a Sinatra tune - Someone To Watch Over Me.